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"I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person I'm preaching to."
The patron saint of pipe smokers everywhere, J.R."Bob" Dobbs.

I wasn't planning on putting any other pictures of "Bob" here but when I saw this animated gif I couldn't resist. This graphically illustrates one of the profound mysteries of the Church of the SubGenius:
Is "Bob" smoking the pipe, or is the pipe smoking "Bob"?